Webbing and curfews and rain

Although they didn’t open with it, their set ironically included the track ‘Good Time’ in which the pineapple haired Adam sings “I just wanna have a good time, just like everybody else”. I hate to tell you Adam, but this was my overwhelming thought at a gig, that I suspect might have just been a bit of a trip for you.

Last year I booked tickets to see the Counting Crows at Wembley, tickets booked in July for a gig in December. Already this is some unprecedented forward planning on my behalf. The gig was then postponed to May this year, which, my friends, is 2 months short of a year and 5 radishes short of a spring salad. Nevertheless, excitement builds unbound and May eventually swings its grey head around the door. Wembley Arena (not stadium) is pretty packed with fans and their unsuspecting friends along for what their expectant little faces anticipate to be a night of musical joyousness. How wrong you are!

The first and last time I saw Adam Duritz and his musical entourage was in 2004, and they were fucking splendid. As much as I love and revel in new music, I very much resented the fact that they opened their Wembley set with two very obscure, manic depressive ballads. Now, Adam, I am not asking you to bust out Mr Jones for the millionth time in your merry dreadlocked life, but please, give me something I can work with. A little later we managed to get a slight groove going, and a few cheers emerged barely drowned by a half hearted applause, as we dreamt of Michaelango and took a quick trip to Miami. Not a minute too soon and they were ferried offstage for the obligatory, ‘applause till your hands are raw and maybe we’ll give you an encore’ session, at which point we made a run for the door.

The train journey was a little more interesting, a few hardcore disappointed fans harping on about the good old days and sell by dates. An interesting crowd of lads and their loony friend drew some curious looks, after the loony chap decided that his t-shirt which was originally inside out, was better inside-off. He then proceeded to show his belly to the world, or at least to those of us on the Jubilee line heading slowly south from Wembley. It was a merry old journey, and almost the most fun we’d had all night. However that would be doing a disservice to the electric shoe polisher we found in the Indian Restaurant before the gig. In fact it would do a disservice to the whole experience at the Indian restaurant which was nothing short of confusing and awkward hilarity. 

right said small town

After immersing myself in the second successive Gilmorefest, I’m beginning to believe that if you watch something enough, you’ll probably grow tired of it.  You must be thinking - what on god’s green earth is Gilmorefest? Well for the fortunate few who are pondering, you’ve probably avoided the television phenomena known as ‘The Gilmore Girls’. I’m not even sure it has a ‘the’ in the title, but my brain hurts and I’m not googling it.  Despite being firmly in the ‘hate it’ camp for years, I grew soft in my old age and started to value the charm, the formulaic speedy diatribes, the pain, the heartache, their joy, their sorrow. It’s just that two weekends of none stop Gilmore later, I feel drained and exhausted. You’re worried? So am I!

We did however tear ourselves away from the TV long enough to throw on a pair of heels, a slightly mental floral skirt (I speak for myself here) and stalk up the hill (all of ten paces) to the pub. A few appletini’s and 3 bottles of rosé later we were singing into pool cues, throwing pounds at the juke box and picking out some dancefloor classics.

Newcomers to our town will be forgiven for thinking that The White Hart is not really your average dancing establishment. Maybe you’d think that a quiet drink and a bit of Bruce on the jukebox would suffice, but that’s an entirely different night all together. On those nights I’ll battle your ‘Streets of Philadelphia’ with an upper cut of Celine Dion. This particular Saturday night however was reserved for dancing. What with the one and only night club in our town charging a whopping £8 (eight English pounds!) for entry and overpriced alcopops, we know how and where to make our own fun. So do Right Said Fred. We strutted our stuff to Beyonce and some upbeat Celine, but as soon as “I’m too sexy” slowly crept through the stereo pipes, my dancing buddy was throwing shapes and jackets in ways I’d never seen shapes and jackets thrown. I was close to tears and bent double in hysterics. The owner of the pub, decided that it was too good to be missed, and within minutes her husband was part of the audience. We thank our lucky stars on occasion that she has a sense of humour.

With exhaustion setting in and the end of the work day (yes! I’m at work) slowly approaching I bid you farewell. Please exercise caution and moderation where television is concerned.  

ticketed

Well that certainly is an interesting way to eat an apple. I can tell you, that while you are munching away in that most peculiar of fashions, I am sitting here, opposite you on the train, thanking god for my iPod, headphones, volume control and Stevie Wonder, all individually. Perhaps you are just biting off pieces of the the apple in a hapless attempt at politeness? Yet it looks like you could inhale the entire apple in one mouthful, so why not give me something worth looking at? Go on, I dare you.

Evidently I’m in a joyous mood when I’m commuting home. I guess I just wasn’t cut out for the hazards of British public transport.

Other items of great joy; I feel like the right honourable Bridget Jones, quizzed by the elders of her tribe “why are their so many single women in their 30s?” Hold on! Yes, I know, I’m not yet 30, but I am well and truly single.  It has dawned on me, and those around me that for some time now, there has been no sign of a significant other. One elder took it upon herself to advise me that “it really is about time you found yourself a nice young man”. Which of course is splendid advice, but it needs further instruction. Perhaps you could elude to where I might start looking, or tell me where those with personality defects and bad shoes aren’t hanging out?

Another moment of pure genius: yesterday I paid for a week’s worth of parking at the train station, today I forgot to  put the ticket in the window. So now I’m sat at work wallowing in my idiocy. I will no doubt have the joyous task of writing to the council and asking them in the sweetest ink on paper tone of voice to revoke the fine, because, and I’ll apologise profusely for this, I am a little brain dead.